Why Spoiling Happens...

It is a serious thing to understand that the world abides certain laws like the law of gravity and the law of the farm etc. Humans is not excused from "laws" starting from childhood.  In order to get what we most desire, we must abide certain laws or we get the opposite side that will cause one's frustrations or depressions.

Here is a good article about spoiling from MSN. As a father, this is a good stumble.

Too much sugar, too many toys, and not enough rules are some of the main ingredients of spoiling. But why do we do it? Here are some of the most common causes.

1. You feel guilty. Today's family dynamics often set the stage for spoiling, says Gail Gross, a child development specialist in Houston. In families where both parents work, or in single-parent homes, the feeling is, "I have so little time with my child, I want it to be fun." Guilt-ridden parents tend to overindulge and under-discipline their kids, she adds, which makes home life anything but pleasant.

2. You don't have the energy to be consistent. One day you refuse to let your child have pudding for breakfast, despite the tantrum; the next day (when you've been up all night with the baby and are exhausted), you think "Oh, it won't kill him," and give in. Such behavior teaches your child that rules aren't for real.

3. You offer too much help. When a toddler is frustrated, many parents want to jump in and help right away, says Lerner. (Rushed, stressed-out parents do the same thing.) Kids get spoiled because they start relying on Mom or Dad for everything -- getting dressed, finishing a puzzle, fetching a juice box. Your goal is to encourage your child to do things for himself, so he can say, "I can handle this" -- not do it for him, notes Lerner.

4. You want to give him everything you didn't have. Of course, buying stuff for your kids is fun, especially when they move beyond the playing-with-the-boxes phase. But giving kids too much can backfire, leading them to always be looking for the next new thing instead of being satisfied with what they have.

5. You believe he's the ultimate cutup. We've all seen parents who smile as their kids talk back, push other children, or knock over breakable objects. These parents are clueless about how to stop the behavior, so they rationalize it as being cute and funny, points out Severe. It's easier to do that than to face the problem. Other people, however, are much less charmed. And kids who aren't given limits have a difficult time respecting other people and their belongings.

DEPRESSION IN CHILDREN: Medical or Psychotherapy Solution? Based on the review of Imperial College London on Mental Health and Depression, in any given year, 9.5% of the population suffers from a depressive illness. Depressive illnesses often interfere with normal functioning and cause pain and suffering not only to those who have the disorder, but to those who care about them, as well. If your teenager seems depressed or irritable, you may wonder, if it is just a phase he's going through? Or if your teen is moody and rebellious, you may think that's what makes her a teenager, right? Well, not always. For more than three million teens in this country, they are signs of clinical depression - a mental illness that can lead some teens to purposely injure themselves or even worse, take their own lives. Depression is an illness that requires treatment with medication or therapy. But how can parents tell the difference? Join host Dr. Winnie King as we journey through this very difficult and prevalent problem. You'll hear from two experts about how to recognize the warning signs of teen depression. And you'll also hear from two courageous young women who share the stories of their battles with depression. Amanda Pellicier - Teenager who suffered from depression, attempted suicide and also would intentionally injure herself. Vanessa Perez - Teenager dealing with depression. Depending on the patient's diagnosis, and how severe the symptoms are, the therapist may prescribe medication and/or one of the several forms of psychotherapy that have proven effective for depression. But after learning some standard medical tips, the question of continued medication or psychotherapy session will depend on the status of your teen but does this answer your real concern or it's just another band-aid that will provide temporary relief for a chronic problem? Do we have an alternative? For more details on this article please visit www.myteen.org

My Greatest Discovery!

One of the amazing discovery for me is to have known ANASAZI Foundation. ANASAZI is a residential treatment center that uses troubled teen program as youth teen boot camp alternative. Recognized internationally for its caring and effective approach known as the ANASAZI Way—ANASAZI is an intervention resource for parents and professionals who are reaching out to help a child making at-risk choices.

ANASAZI Foundation is a non-profit (501c3) JCAHO-accredited and licensed behavioral healthcare provider for teens, young adults, and their parents. The wilderness therapy, residential treatment, outpatient services, and drug and alcohol rehabilitation services at ANASAZI have been found to be helpful for adolescents experiencing entitlement issues, substance abuse and addiction, mood disorders (i.e., bi-polar, depression, and anxiety), self-harming behaviors (i.e., cutting, eating disorders, and suicide ideation), attachment disorders, oppositional and defiant behaviors, academic challenges, and learning disabilities (i.e. ADD, ADHD).

The ANASAZI Way…

• Individualized Care
• Facilitating a Change of Heart
• Healing and Strengthening Family Relationships
• Spiritual Walking
• Invitation to a New Beginning

Note: ANASAZI is not a boot camp. Participation in an ANASAZI program requires personal responsibility and accountability; however, no force, contrived experiences, manipulation, confrontation, point or level systems, or other behavioral modification techniques or models are employed. See "The Making of a Walking" video for results.

Amazingly there are vast of people having the same intention of helping alot of youth to make that 360 life turn around. There are these groups who believe that its possible to make such changes, from a very bad person to a successful artist, businessman, and even a youth adviser! “Mission Possible” that’s what they call it.

Mission Possible

The new thing that i am excited about is the www.MyTeen.org that is also dedicated to helping parents and teens through their “Top TEeN Videos” exclusively researched to provide fun, helpful and informative videos and “Teen Program Authority Links” highly recommended and proven efficient in terms of teen health development and behavioral change.

With some of this and all we stumble upon resources out there, what really is the key for one to make the change? It’s a question that has no definite stroke for an answer simply because all individuals are unique, from their needs, culture, belief, faith and values. But i am sure there are ways that are far lesser risk for parents should they decide to enroll their troubled teen with any of the behavioral change society. We have boot camp, religious schools, rehabilitation center, juvenile camp and more that are deviced by men for helping our precious youth, but in my experiences with these institutions, seeing friends, relatives, and even to my very own family member left damages more than help or even end up killing our precious teens unless these institutions are truly dedicated to their cause more than what money has to offer and truly understand every facet of human nature that society would like to change.

Other Links:
Troubled Teen
youthprogram
Boot Camp?
Residential Treatment

Understanding Wilderness

The Wilderness is a great tool to understand ourselves and as we do so se also understand the being that created us.

Life is like a wilderness and understanding its rules and bounderies is something helpful. Here is a good article we found in one site.

Defining Wilderness

Philosophers talk about wilderness as an idea. Congress talks about wilderness as a law. My brother calls his back yard wilderness, and I can’t ride my bike up Mount Whitney because it’s wilderness. Well shoot… I’m confused. What’s wilderness?

The Idea and the Law for Wilderness:

The Idea:

The word wilderness means something different to each of us. We all have our own idea of where civilization ends and wilderness begins, but each of these definitions share in describing a place we consider wild. A wilderness is untamed, free; it exists on its own terms, outside our control. To some a wilderness is that which they don’t know, outside the boundary, unmapped and forbidding. For others it’s a place to escape, a place to explore. In a phrase, wilderness is that place “out there.”

Beyond this personal meaning, wilderness has developed a more specific definition in western european culture. Henry Thoreau, Aldo Leopold, Ralph Waldo Emerson, John Muir, and other great thinkers embraced the concept of what’s “out there” and gave us a definition of wilderness that many share today. According to their ideas, wilderness embodies the freedom of the american frontier, and we must protect wild lands that remain untouched by human hands. These places, the forests and mountains so central to America’s identity, are the wilderness areas that we share as a people.

The Law:

We each have our own wilderness, our own “out there” to experience, but what does the word wilderness mean on a map? On a sign? On this website? What does it mean for a place to be “designated wilderness?”

The idea of wilderness is philosophical, something that writers and thinkers will struggle with forever, but in America the word “wilderness” also has a very specific legal meaning. These two definitions depend on each other and it’s important to understand how they relate; the idea forms a basis for the law, and the law embodies the spirit of the idea.

In 1964, in an almost unanimous vote, the United States Congress passed the Wilderness Act. This short piece of legislation, originally written by Howard Zahniser, legally defined “designated wilderness” and established America’s National Wilderness Preservation System. According to the act, “A wilderness, in contrast with those areas where man and his own works dominate the landscape, is hereby recognized as an area where the earth and community of life are untrammeled by man, where man himself is a visitor who does not remain.”

If you’re someone who values America’s wilderness areas, take a few minutes to read the act itself. Quality not quantity: the Wilderness Act is short and sweet.

Since the Wilderness Act was first passed, Congress has established 680 separate wilderness areas. Each of these areas was set aside under the same law, and each enjoys the same basic protections, but they are managed by four different federal agencies: the Forest Service, the Bureau of Land Management, the National Park Service, and the Fish and Wildlife Service. Though run by different agencies, designated wilderness areas must be managed in accordance with the provisions set out in the Wilderness Act.

Where Is It?

Designated wilderness areas are all managed by one of these four federal agencies, but the boundaries of our wilderness areas do not necessarily match up with the boundaries of the park of forest that is managing them. Some wilderness areas include only a part of a park or forest (like the Sequoia and Kings Canyon Wilderness) while others are split between various parks and forests (like the Domeland Wilderness managed by Sequoia National Forest and two separate Bureau of Land Management units).

Needless to say, this can make finding information about specific wilderness areas challenging. That’s where SierraNevadaWild.gov comes in. Use this site to cut right to the information you want about how to enjoy the the Sierra Wilderness. Start by visiting our Wilderness Areas page and selecting the area you would like to research.

For additional information about America’s designated wilderness areas, visit wilderness.net

SOURCE: http://sierranevadawild.gov/whatiswilderness/wilderness-info

Other links: Classified Ads

THE 6 ROOTS of TROUBLE for Troubled Teens and At-risk Youth.

Troubled teens are young adults those are rejecting their heritage, rebelling against parental authority, looking for acceptance in the wrong places, and to whom academic pursuit is no longer a part of their vision.

Troubled teens are young adults that suffer from one, or some of the following symptoms-Alcohol or drug abuse, Depression, Attention Deficit Disorder, Disrespect, Poor academic performance, Bad Attitude, Display of negativity (physically or mentally), Teen pregnancy, Suicide attempt, Eating Disorder, Teens experience sadness, Frustrations, disillusionment, the first heart break and hormones running amok are bound to sadden the gladdest of hearts on occasion but some teens experience a sadness that goes deeper, lasts longer and weighs heavier. This deeper, darker sadness is depression.

A normal teen can turn into a troubled teen for a combinati on of reasons.

Depression is one of the most common disorders: Depression causes decreased energy and social isolation. The teen may have difficulty with motivation. The depressed teenager will have difficulty summoning the energy to perform the activities they enjoy, as well as the activities the parent assigns as chores. They may, for instance, not "feel like" going to the mall with their friends, not "feel like" going to the rock concert, etc. The teen may feel tired all the time because sleep disturbances are also a sign of depression. They may feel as if they are insignificant and become irritable, taking out their misery on family members via verbal, emotional or physical abuse.

Hopeless: Troubled teens usually do not have any ambitions in life, or at least they are not strong enough to find for achieving them. Some troubled teens exert negative influences on others.

Panic attacks: Sometimes, he/she may be nervous doing a certain task that may be scary. Teens fear is to challenge your negative thinking with positive statements and realistic thinking. When encountering thoughts that make you’re fearful or anxious, challenge those thoughts by asking yourself questions that will maintain objectivity and common sense. For example a man/women afraid that if they do not get that job promotion then he/she will be stuck at your job forever. This depresses him or her; however your thinking in this situation is unrealistic.

Facing the fear and anxiety of the unknown: All most everybody worries about what will happen in the future? The prospect of not knowing if something good or bad will happen to you in the near future can produce a lot of fear and anxiety.

Alcohol and substance abuse: It is not easy to deal with his/her fears and anxieties however trying to avoid them through Alcohol or other substances will not work. Avoiding his/her fears and anxieties will not make them go away. His or her fears and anxieties will always be there.

Loneliness: Sometime he or she will experience a time when we are alone. Some people fear of being alone for various reasons. At that time the depression came to his or her mind.

Strong pressures and stress of life: Considering the world of today with all the high-pressure from parents, school, peers, advertising and the amount of information that is thrown at them daily it is no wonder that troubled teens are getting more and more. As young adults, they are shaping their personalities yet too many become troubled teens, unable to grow strong and secure due to the pressures and stress of life.

Many of them itself creates ideal conditions for the development of troubled teens, because it have proven that such teenagers have underdeveloped front part of the main brain, which makes it difficult for them to determine right from wrong. Many believe that troubled teens are product of the society they live in. But as it was already mentioned, it is most likely a combination of reasons that make teens troubled.

If you have trouble managing your inner-self, we recommed some of these sites:

Wilderness Therapy and Boot Camp Alternative

Abundant Life Academy

Troubled Teens 4 Jesus

Emotional Attachment

Promote Your Cause

Article Source: HariKishan Pal

Changing Negative Thoughts into Positive Thoughts

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"Creating a new image begins with changing how you talk to yourself each day."

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Where Negativity Comes From

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As children, each of us live with the barrage of commands from the adults in our lives: stop fidgeting, pay attention, sit up straight. For some, those commands became a consistent source of pain, maybe you heard words such as "You're stupid" or "You're lazy." As we grow into adulthood, we don't leave these remarks behind us, but instead, we continue them on our own, telling ourselves over and over again how inadequate we are.

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Our negative thought patterns have the ability to reap havoc on our lives. Sometimes, we create our own reality by what we say to ourselves each day. For example, if we have one or two lousy things happen to us in the morning, we tell ourselves what a terrible day this is. Throughout the day, as we repeat this over and over, we begin to focus only on what has gone wrong. By the end of the day, we have convinced ourselves it was the worst day ever. If instead, we had accepted that the morning started off poorly, but the rest of the day looked promising and repeated this to ourselves all day, we would view our experiences differently and look for the good in what was happening.

Other links:

• Source
  
• www.r8ny.com/blog
• Training Consultancy
  

Troubled teens need proven intervention, not boot camp
7 questions to help parents find a safe and effective alternative

By Michael J. Merchant
March 1, 2006

The decision to seek help for a struggling child is one of the most difficult and important choices a parent may face. When inpatient or residential treatment is recommended, parents must consider a variety of options-from psychiatric hospitals, to alternative or therapeutic boarding schools, to wilderness treatment or outdoor behavioral healthcare providers, to "tough-love" programs. With few resources to aid them, desperate parents are often confused. Many are also troubled by the well-publicized tactics of a few programs using an in-your-face, boot camp philosophy.

How do caring parents find the program most appropriate for their child and family? They must first understand that not all inpatient and residential programs are alike.

Some boot camp-oriented programs employ degrading confrontation, deprivation of basic needs, and a philosophy advocating that resistant teens must be broken down before they can be helped. These programs only hurt children and further alienate them from their parents.

There are, however, residential and outdoor behavioral healthcare providers who offer nurturing and caring environments with evidenced-based psychotherapy, drug and alcohol counseling, parent education, social-skills training, and other proven interventions. When outpatient therapy is unsuccessful, these programs can help facilitate change, strengthen families, and even save lives.

To know the difference, parents should ask the following questions:

1. How does the program regard the children it serves?

According to researchers, a key success factor in the effectiveness of any treatment intervention is the "therapeutic alliance"-in other words the relationship between the caregiver and the child. If the caregiver regards a child as a person of worth and potential, the caregiver is more likely to understand and treat the child in a way that he or she would want to be treated in similar circumstances. The caregiver who regards a child as a problem-or inferior-is less likely to be responsive to the child's needs.

Perhaps most importantly, the nature of the caregiver also determines the influence of the caregiver's interventions. Because children can sense our motives, they are more likely to cooperate with a caregiver who understands and be resistant to a caregiver who is trying to manipulate or change them.

When a teen is resistant in a program where caregivers regard children as problems to be fixed, caregivers feel justified in using punitive tactics to obtain cooperation. This only provokes more resistance and escalates risks of injury or even death. Parents should ask, "How will your program respond if my child does not cooperate?"

2. Does the program have the competencies to effectively treat the needs of your family and child?

Whenever possible, parents should seek an independent assessment by a qualified professional before placing a child in an inpatient or residential program. This can aid the family in finding the most appropriate intervention.

Some diagnoses are effectively treated by programs skilled in behavioral therapy and parental education. Others may require psychiatric care and in some cases medication. The best programs provide comprehensive aftercare planning and follow-up.

3. Does the program involve parents and align with your family's personal values and belief system?

Each child is part of a family-family relationships will carry on long after program completion. Troubled teens often use their strained or severed family relationships to justify self-destructive behavior. Effective programs will provide resources and tools to help heal family relationships and will not divide children from their parents by promoting conflicting values or beliefs.

4. Is the program regulated by a licensing and/or accrediting body?

To maintain state licensure or national accreditation, a program is required to meet approved standards of care, report incidents, and be subject to periodic (often unannounced) on-site reviews and audits. Parents should contact licensing and accrediting agencies to learn of the program's safety record and current standing.

5. Are therapy and medical care provided by independently licensed practitioners?

Independent licensure requires education, training, supervision, and verification of competency. Thus, the employment of licensed therapists and medical professionals provides programs with an additional level of accountability. Registered nurses, board-certified psychologists, and licensed social workers are not likely to place their own licenses in jeopardy by working for a program that uses questionable practices.

6. Does the program allow confidential communication to family and child protective services?

Programs must give children a way to freely and confidentially communicate concerns of abuse or neglect with parents and regulatory agencies.

7. Can the program provide you with independent outcome statistics?

In addition to informing parents and professionals of program effectiveness, independent outcome research is often an indicator that the program is actively engaged in continuous program-improvement initiatives.

Parents can learn more about programs and best practices through the National Association of Therapeutic Schools and Programs (www.natsap.org) and the Outdoor Behavioral Healthcare Industry Council (www.obhic.com).

Michael J. Merchant is president and executive director of ANASAZI Foundation, a non-profit and nationally accredited outdoor behavioral healthcare provider. He serves as chairman of the Outdoor Behavioral Healthcare Research Cooperative (www.obhrc.org) and is a frequent lecturer on standards of care and the importance of effective parent-child communication. Mr. Merchant has chaired numerous councils and committees focused on best practices for adolescent behavioral healthcare providers. In 2004, he developed the communication component at the heart of the Emmy-nominated "Take the Time to Talk" substance-abuse awareness and prevention campaign.

"Though many of my Anasazi memories have faded, I will never forget what I learned there. I learned that I have a choice. Whether I make the wrong or right choice, I know I have one. And, I also know which one is right and which is wrong."
--Young Walker, Texas